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Address Personal Stress When Going Through A Divorce

When couples enter into marriage they do not have the intention to have it end. However, in America almost half of all marriage end in divorce or separation. For many people a divorce is going to occur and it is going to be hard emotionally, mentally, and financially. It is an extremely stressful process that can lead to anger, grief, and resentment. While we are here to help you through the legal process of a divorce we want to remind you that your personal well-being is just as important when going through such a taxing time. In order to ease the process of a divorce there are certain things that the American Psychological Association recommends.

First, the APA recommends that you do your best to be cooperative through a divorce proceeding and to keep an open mind about communicating with your spouse. The process is long and difficult and turning it into a vicious battle will prolong the experience and increase the stresses that you will undertake. Help your matter go quickly and efficiently for your own well being.

Second, the APA says that research shows that a divorce is harder on children when there is prolonged conflict. They suggest that you should keep an open line of communication with your children in order to ease the stresses of the process on them. The more hostile and hidden it is in the eyes of your children the more likely they are to have psychological or social problems down the road.

Finally, the APA puts an emphasis on staying focused on your own well being. Use your friends and family for support. Stay active and healthy as much as possible. Also, do your best to stay occupied and focused on things your enjoy, such as any hobbies that you may have.

We are ready and willing to help you through the legal processes of your divorce. Contact us for any legal questions but do not forget to take care of yourself as well. For more information from the APA on getting through a divorce go to

For information about any legal concerns regarding your divorce or custody matters please contact us or fill out our form.

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RI Child Custody Issues ~ The Best Interest of the Child

In RI divorce cases where there are minor children, custody can become a major issue in the settlement of the divorce. Most parents find the division of their time with their child impossible to fathom. The negotiating of things like who will get to have them for Christmas and other holidays can turn normally rational adults into bickering forces, each determined to get their own way.

Fortunately, the family court has a very structured guideline when it comes to handling child custody issues between parties who cannot agree on their own. The court uses a standard that determines what is in the best interest of the child to decide on custody placement and visitation schedules.

When you are trying to decide what would be in the best interest of your child, try to see things from their perspective and examine the benefits and damages any decision will have on their well-being. For instance, if having a split custody schedule would cause a lot of shifting and moving around for your child, it might not be in their best interest and would cause more stress for them than benefit.

No matter what you decide with your spouse regarding your mutual children, remember to keep any negativity toward one another to yourselves. Your children are going through enough already and need you to be strong and supportive to help them understand and navigate the changes ahead for them.

If you need counsel concerning RI child custody, contact me at (401) 942-3100 for a free consultation.

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Five Facts About RI Divorce That Might Be Tough to Hear

No one wants to get divorced, but if the inevitable happens there are a few things you need to keep in mind as you move forward with the dissolution of your marriage.

1. Though it is not always the best choice, it is always “easier” to stay married. ~ This fact may not save your marriage, but it may save you from endlessly lamenting about the RI divorce process. Yes, divorce stinks, and yes, it is technically easier to stay married, but in most cases if you’re ready to divorce your spouse, you have already explored all of your options in terms of mending the relationship. Resolve yourself to move through the process to the best of your ability and get to the other side where you can start a new life.

2. The house may have to go. ~ The only thing worse than getting divorced is trying to hold on to the house for sentimental reasons when you know that you can’t pay the mortgage alone (or it will be a hardship to do so). This is particularly true if you have children. While the move may be difficult at first, having you available to them while they go through the divorce process too will be more important than staying in the same house. In some cases, in fact especially if you had a difficult marriage with a lot of fighting and trauma, moving may give everyone the chance to start fresh in a home with more positive energy.

3. If you do not pay child support, you will go to jail. ~ That one is pretty self-explanatory, and yet so many non-custodial parents fail to pay when their support is due. Pay it on time, in full and you can avoid the added financial and emotional burden of having to appear in court and subsequently being placed in jail for failure to pay your child support.

4. If you cannot agree on certain issues, the court will decide for you. ~ Issues in particular relating to the separation of property and those having to do with any minor children of your marriage are taken quite seriously by the court. If you and your spouse cannot reach an agreement in these areas, the court will decide based upon the laws for the division of assets in RI, and what will be in the best interest of the children.

5. Spouses are rarely awarded both alimony and child support. ~ The circumstances that must be present for a spouse to be awarded both alimony and child support are a dwindling statistic. Find out what your rights are, but be prepared to accept child support in lieu of alimony unless you meet a strict set of criteria for the time that you were married to your spouse.

If you need help with a Rhode Island divorce or child support issue, contact me at (401) 942-3100 for a free consultation.

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Are the Children Ever Allowed to Determine Child Custody Placement?

In the Family Court system, the guiding principle when deciding child custody issues, is ‘what will be in the best interest of the child’. For many divorcing parents this can be a nightmare as one parent attempts to influence the child to live with them with promises of gifts or indulgent behavior, or a child simply develops a preference for one parent over another for other reasons.

What divorcing parents need to remember is that the decision concerning the physical placement and visitation for any of the  minor children of the marriage rests squarely with the judge.

Parents (and children) may contribute to the decision making process by providing the court with every conceivable piece of information regarding the current lives of the children, their preferences, who they spend the most time with, their schedules, and where they currently live. It will then be up to the judge to determine what custody and visitation schedule would be in the best interest of the child.

There are many instances as well where the child/ren are asked if they have a preference as to which child they will live with. In many if not all divorce cases involving child custody, if the child is mature enough to have a preference, it will be taken into consideration as long as the other criteria for the well-being of the child are present in those living arrangements.

Child custody issues can be difficult. If you need help with a child custody, divorce, or child support issues, contact me at (401) 942-3100 for a free consultation.

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Is a 50/50 Custody Schedule Right for Your Child?

The RI and MA Family Court system entertains every custody schedule that will be in the best interest of the child. If you and your ex decide that you would like to share equally in the upbringing of your child, then a 50/50 custody schedule might be right for you and your child.

Some of the things that you will need to consider when deciding whether or not this will be in the best interest of your child/ren are your current parenting schedule and who spends the most time with your child/ren, the age(s) of your minor child/ren, where each parent lives, the kind of work schedules each parent has, and perhaps most importantly, the child’s relationship with each parent.

50/50 custody schedules can be set-up for half-week schedules, alternating weeks, or on selective days during the week. The key factor in determining this schedule however, needs to be the unique needs of your child or children. No matter how convenient this kind of arrangement might seem to you and your former spouse, if a 50/50 custody schedule is going to cause your child more stress, anxiety, or disruption, then it would not be in their best interest.

If you would like to discuss your options with regard to a custody and visitation schedule, please contact me at (401) 942-3100 for a free consultation.

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Interstate Child Support Issues ~ When Your Ex Lives Out-of-State

When it comes to Interstate Child Support issues, those practices characteristic of each individual state have typically been considered the guiding principles for dealing with out-of-state matters. Because of this, one of the most difficult situations involving child support occurs when the custodial parent lives in one state, and the non-custodial parent lives in another.

The states are required to cooperate in locating missing non-custodial parents and enforcing child support orders. However, there is some difficulty in enforcing an order from one Family court in another state.

The Uniform Interstate Family Support Act (UIFSA), a federal law, was enacted just for these kinds of situations. The Act has prompted many states to also adopt their own interstate child support laws, with language that closely resembles the federal law.

If you need help with an out of state child support matter, contact me at (401) 942-3100 for a free consultation.

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You’re Not the Only One Who Needs Help in a Custody Case

Child custody issues are among the most difficult and heart-rending aspects of the Family Court process. Most parents are sensitive to the needs of their children during divorce proceedings, and yet being emotionally involved in the situation very often make errors in judgement that can negatively effect their children, as well as the outcome of their custody case.

In the determination of child custody in Rhode Island, the court may order a custody evaluation. In this evaluation, your child will be expected to answer the questions of the interviewer. The interview alone would be a stressful situation for any child, but when coupled with the divorce process and parents who may not agree over custody issues, it can be overwhelming.

Your child is already under a great deal of stress. In order to support your child through this process, you need to focus on guiding them rather than giving them exact responses to the questions that will be asked. By being a source of strength and assuring your child that as long as he or she is honest they will be giving the right answers, you provide your child with the confidence to overcome their discomfort to some degree. If they feel that you don’t expect them to say specific things, or that they don’t have to remember special answers, they are much more likely to come through the process without trauma. In fact, comparing the interview to a visit with any other counselor will go a long way toward instilling the idea that they need only be themselves and have a normal conversation.

Reinforce that they need only be honest and that they cannot give a right or a wrong answer. That no matter what they say to the interviewer, nothing bad will happen to themselves, their parents, or other siblings. Under no circumstances should you coach your child with responses and guidelines for what they may and may not say in the interview. If there is any issue of abuse, or your child would rather not be with one parent or the other, the interviewer will best be able to determine this through honest answers from your child.

If you are considering a divorce in RI and you have minor children contact me at (401) 942-3100 for a free consultation.

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Facebook & Court – Be careful what you write.

Is what you write on facebook private?  No, not according to United States Federal Court Judge William Pauley III.  Federal prosecutors were able to use what a criminal defendant wrote on his facebook profile against him.  This person ha…

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Divorce Attorney-Who do I hire?

Divorce Attorney – Who do I hire?The divorce process can be a very difficult and stressful process.  You should hire a lawyer who will make the process less stressful for you.  It is important that you hire a lawyer who believes in you. &nbsp…

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NEW – RI Child Support Guidelines Increase

Rhode Island Family Court Child Support Guidelines.Recently the Rhode Island Family Court has updated its Child Support Guidelines.  This update has resulted in the monthly amount of child support that paying parents pay, going up.  As a resu…

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